So roughly 6 months ago a ripple affect of negative situations plummeted my spirit. I mean my thoughts were all around just jacked up. I went from feeling betrayal from a loved one who means a great deal to me, getting so sick that I could barely move and experienced short term memory loss due to medication. I lost my fiance (he ain't dead y'all, just dead to me! Lol). My mother was fighting for her life and it was all a little too much. I began using food and alcohol as a comfort for the pain that I was experiencing because I wanted to be numb and couldn't accept my reality. Because I have a connection with The Most High I knew better was coming but the nervousness that I felt for my mother just ate away at me the most. So as I straddled the fence between what I was experiencing in that moment I hung on to the light at the end of the tunnel (FAITH). I knew my better days were coming. So I continued to meditate despite the situation. Now I'm not going to make this long so I'm just going to give you that bare minimum of details but I want to leave you with this as October came things began to get better in my life. Slowly but definitely surely! I was in my bathroom and after several months of crying I just looked myself in the mirror and said enough is enough. I chose to accept things about me that I did not like and forgive myself for operating on such a low frequency for that long. I told myself I am worth it and whatever my desires are I can have it all. I told myself to trust what The Most High is doing in my mother's life and my own. All the other miscellaneous noise that was going on around me would no longer be allowed to attach Itself to me. I released myself of others burdens so that I can see clearer. Baby I booked me a trip and took flight. I left my anxiety meds at the house and reassured myself that this was necessary and meant to be. Boy let me tell you... I am so glad that I did too. This trip fed my entire soul. The scenery, the people, the food...EVERYTHING was great! I also got another position on my second job that provides more hours, I've also located a great spot to take pics of the products that I offer (so excited to load products to the site) and more importantly I decided to put the margaritas down and detox my body. Y'all when I tell you the younger me who was unaware of my true self and what I was called on this earth to do would have been beat someone up or cussed them out by now lol. I would be somewhere high right now (no judgement to my smokers) but I am Literally high on life and all the beauty that's in it. I understand our world is of sin, chaos, and confusion but while on this journey called life I am choosing peace. No I am not perfect nor do I have all the answers and even though things are looking good now doesn't mean there won't be bumps in the road next week or even next month. But I am prepared and I know trouble won't last always. So know from experience no matter what you are going through you can't allow it to stop you from reaching your destiny and living in peace (that light). Take your time and go through the motions so you'll be better prepared next time. Because even if you pass this test they'll be another one and this test that your in now will better equip you for the next. Not only that your testimony might help the next young lady out and prevent someone from falling into a place of depression that they see no way out of. Here at #Keniseworld the goal is to allow other's a safe space to be free from judgement and learn from one another while inspiring you to be the best you. I personally have over came many obstacles and refuse to be defined by my mistakes. So to my beautiful black and brown ladies suffering from depression and anxiety baby girl you're going to be okay and when the world is against you just know I am for you and I have your back. No matter the situation I am a comment or email away. If you're looking for resources in your area to help with depression and anxiety I'll do my to help with that. Don't forget to respond, give feedback, and come back to see what's new. As always remember to #BEEE (Beautiful, Encouraged, Enlightened, & Empowered).
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